GraceWrites Gets Out of the Chipmunk Funk

After my grueling battle with Chippy, the killer chipmunk, I suffered from survivor's guilt. My good friends JJ and Heidi thought I needed to get out of the house, away from the place that reminded me of the once-ferocious furry four-inch beast.

They took me to our favorite karaoke bar.

On the way there, I opened up and shared my angst about Chippy's life and my role in shortening it. I told them about my Lady Macbeth spotty-hand moment.

JJ looked at me with kind eyes. "You are soooooo going to hell. Those spots are NEVER, you hear me, NEVER COMING OFF!"

Well, thank God, another friend was there to distract me from my impending fiery end with her profanely poetic rants.

But what got me out of my chipmunk funk was a couple of the karaoke singers. Never mind JJ's changing Hank Williams's Your Cheatin' Heart to this:

Your chipmunk's heart...
will make you weep,
You'll cry and cry, and try to sleep.
But sleep won't come, the whole night through.
Your chipmunk's heart, will tell on you.

I met Tiny, the singing trucker from Juneau, Wis., who is Louis Armstrong reincarnated tellig me about this wonderful world.



Then I met Doug Eggers, a foundry worker from Kaukauna, Wis., who sounds just like Timon from The Lion King. (I know Timon is a cartoon, but just listen to Doug, and tell me you don't agree.)



My chipmunk blues? Gone before JJ and Heidi even started their spot-on rendition of Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson's To All the Girls I Loved Before.