Top Five Lessons Learned from a Week of Detox

What have I learned after almost seven days of being meat-free, caffeine-free, processed sugar-free, dairy-free and wheat-free?

1. I can go meat-free for a week and still live. I'm known for bringing extra meat to dinner parties for fear of not having enough meat. For one Thanksgiving, a friend flew in to share the day with hubby and me. She knew I had no culinary skills and told me she'd take care of the cooking. All I had to do was to get a turkey for three. I bought a 19-pound turkey. I figured that much of the turkey was bones, so it was really a 15-pound turkey. My husband, a mathematician, put his hard-earned degrees to work. He said, rather incredulously: "You thought we'd each eat the equivalent of 20 Quarter Pounders???!!!"

Well, when he puts it like that, it does sound a little much.

But I digress. Back to the lessons learned.

2. Caffeine headaches aren't terminal. I suffered greatly the first two days, but after that, I embraced it and became one with the pain. No, I didn't, but let's just pretend I did.

3. A tall decaf soy no foam latte is just good as the real stuff (if you live in an alternative universe, then yes, it's just the same.)

4. I don't have to feel guilty about leaving abandoned food behind. Some people collect stray animals, I collect stray food. I caught myself reaching for the kids' leftovers, grabbing a handful of pretzels and unwapping loose candy. Eight times in one evening. And I wasn't even hungry.

5. I am stronger than my cravings. JJ and I walked through Caramel Crisp Cafe this afternoon for the first time. I was sorely tempted by the ice cream and caramel corn. But I didn't succumb today. (Tomorrow, however, is another story.)

Odds and ends: Two of my detoxing friends bailed with a few hours left. One ate fruit; the other sneaked a slice of pizza. I'd taunt them about their wimpy weak minds, but I won't because the detoxed me is a kinder, gentler me. I won't point out that I won the detox. I'm above keeping scores even though I did lose 2.5 pounds. (But who knows how much of it is real.) And I beat JJ 5-0 in raquetball this week. But, again, who's keeping score?

Today I felt the most normal.

But tomorrow (Wednesday) I'll be even more so because I'll be celebrating my week with breakfast at American Table, which serves the best crepes ever.

Thank you for listening.

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